When looking in the mirror is hard

So, on the weekend I went and did one of my most favourite things in the world – let people play with my  hair!   But for years, I avoided going to the hairdresser, it would literally fill me with dread and fear and I avoided the place like it was a cockroach infested lair.  Why?  Well, this is why: Actually sitting there, looking at myself in the mirror was practically impossible for me.  Honestly, for anyone experiencing depression that involves a deep sense of self loathing and relentless negative thoughts,  this is THE last place in the world you want to sit for two hours.  Staring at yourself in the mirror.  *Blegh*  So instead of walking out of a salon feeling primped, pampered and a million dollars, I’d walk out feeling even more disgusted and low.  And it wasn’t just hair dresser mirrors I avoided, it was all mirrors.  I barely gave myself a daily glimpse in the mirror.  This tactic was a really good method to avoid the truth of the obvious:  I wasn’t taking care of myself.   If I didn’t look, I didn’t have to acknowledge that deep dark secret that I carried around with myself constantly, and that was that I hated myself.   Hated myself so much, that I didn’t want to even brush my hair. So this meant I would easily go 6 months, maybe a year without going to the hairdresser.   Fortunately, this didn’t really matter for a hairstyle that was long straight boring and usually tied up in a pony! The thing is, I love the hairdressing service.  Having someone else...