I waited for the joyful, excited feeling to kick in after having my little boy but it never did. All I felt was despair; like I wasn’t cut out to be a mum and worse, like I had made the biggest mistake that I couldn’t take back.
It took a lot of time and support from my husband for me to realize I didn’t just have the weepies, I was in a very dark place that I needed help climbing out of. Medication, talking through my depression and anxiety and knowing that I have places to reach out (even if I don’t really utilize them very much, thank you social anxiety) makes the world of difference.
I haven’t reached the sunlight yet but I get closer all the time.